Surviving Menopause and her sidekick Perry. It's Not Just About the Thermostat!

Hello Ladies 😃  Let's talk about the mysterious hormonal insanity that we’ll all face at some point in our lives: perimenopause and menopause. If you think it's just about forgetting where you put your keys or suddenly feeling like you've been dropped into a tub full of hot soup, buckle up because there's a whole lot more to this rollercoaster than meets the eye.

The Old School Symptom Report: Hot Flashes

We've all heard of hot flashes, right? You’re just sitting around minding your own business when suddenly you feel as you’ve been set ablaze. But, here's the scoop: Dr. Mary Claire Haver, a board-certified OB/GYN and the queen of menopause education, says that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the things you may experience (btw, I absolutely LOVE her! Free endorsement… she has so many helpful resources for the Perry-M journey).

Beyond the Flash: A Symphony of Symptoms

Brain Fog: If you've started calling your kids by the wrong names or forgetting where you parked your car (again), it's not just you. This one is right at the top of the list of enjoyable side effects of Perry and M.

Muscle and Joint Pain: Ever woken up feeling like you got jumped in your sleep? Do your joints crack like popcorn in the microwave? Welcome to the party pal, the menopause party. This one is painful but fear not, there are solutions… see below.

Weight Gain: You’re doing all the same things you’ve always done but suddenly you’re shape shifts from hour glass to snow globe! It's not just about eating less and moving more; it's about hormonal sabotage. There are changes that can help but the struggle is definitely for real.

Dizziness: If the room is moving but you’re not, it might be your hormones throwing a dance party in your inner ears. Many women report feeling woozy as they approach the big M.

Heart Palpitations: This is one of the more frightening of the bunch. I personally visited many a doc convinced I was about to ‘sleep with the fishes’. Turned out it was just that jerk job Perry. However, I had myself tested to confirm I wasn’t on my way out. So please, if any of these symptoms befall you get checked out by medical professional. That being said, Perry and his big bro menopause can bang on your chest wall until you accept their invitation to the panic party. 



Mood Swings: One moment you're laughing at cat videos, the next you're contemplating the meaning of life with a side of existential dread. Dr. Haver explains this can be caused by hormonal chaos. Picture estrogen and progesterone playing tug-of-war with your emotions.

Hair Drama: The locks on your head decide to jump ship, while your chin resembles that of an adolescent boy. Unfortunately this is the new normal so have your holster locked and loaded with some high caliber tweezers at all times.

Sleep? What Sleep?: Night sweats that drench you more than a marathon, which might be a bit more tolerable if they actually burned calories. Add that to an extra worried mind doom scrolling into the wee hours about your endless ailments and crumbling personal relations skills. Magnesium might help a bit, but more on that later.

When You Feel Like You're Dying: Here's where it gets real. Many women consulting Dr Google on the daily, convinced they're on their last legs. The symptom parade can make you feel like you might not make it, but it’s often just your body transitioning into its new, less hormone-rich life.

AGAIN, SPEAK WITH YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER ABOUT SERIOUS SYMPTOMS!

Fight back! Now we know that lifestyle changes and some other interventions can help beat back the most difficult parts of this transition.


Nutrition: Up the protein and fiber, give sugar the smack down. 

Exercise: Strength over skinny. It ain’t the 80s aerobics + minimal calories = healthy anymore girls. The new fitness routines prioritize weight training, balance and healthy cardio. These are the ingredients for enjoyable longevity.

Hormone Therapy: Not your grandma's HRT. Don’t worry, most of it isn’t horse pee anymore. Modern treatments are tailored and bioavailable with experts like Dr. Haver pushing for personalized care over one-size-fits-all solutions.

Painful sex and UTIs: Is your vagina screaming? Are your arid nether regions causing discomfort? This can be fixed! There are very effective local hormone therapies, lubricants and some swear by the wild yam. Whatever road you take, just know that you don’t have to accept the end of all things lady parts after menopause. Also, please note that UTIs can be especially dangerous in senior women so take prevention seriously as you and your loved ones age.

Advocacy: Be your own health advocate. If your doctor still thinks menopause is just about hot flashes, it might be time for a new one- or at least a professional on the side who understands perimenopause and menopause. Most docs, even gynecologists, have received very little training about the changes and health concerns that women face during these stages of life. It is, however, a great time to be alive. Our sisters (and bros) in healthcare are stepping up to the plate, learning, researching and ultimately helping women to not only survive, but thrive as they navigate the precarious pilgrimage of Perry and M.

The Takeaway

Your beautiful, God given body is a gift. It might feel like it’s playing a prank on you now, but fear not, for this too shall pass. You’ve paid the price with years of blood letting and maybe some baby making too. Now you belong to an elite club of wise women- complete with a secret handshake of night sweats and mood swings. Embrace it, laugh at it and remember, you’re not alone in this ‘zone of chaos’. So take a nice deep breath, phone a friend and don’t be afraid to ask for help, we’re in this together, lovely ladies 😘😘.